#TiaraTuesday....... A day late.... But I've felt like I needed to share this sooner than next Tuesday!
My experiences with boys will be discussed. Sorry. But trust me, it's relevant. :)
A couple weeks ago, I went to this camp in the mountains with my church. (#wondervu 4 lyfe) The speaker, Benji, had some AMAZING sermons. One of them even about Tiara Tuesday! But one of the messages he gave was on Spiritual Warfare. He told a story about his daughter, who had been having nightmares and asked one night "why won't God answer our prayers?" This made Benji so mad, he decided he was going to pray and fast until that girl's nightmares went away. For 2-3 days, he did nothing but pray a "covering" over his daughter.
When we got back from camp, my best friend and I were both going through some pretty bad spiritual warfare- anger, depression, sickness- and at lunch one day she told me that her boyfriend decided to pray a covering over her as well. While I was insanely happy that my friend had someone who loved her enough to pray and fast to put a spiritual covering over her, it did the opposite of make me actually happy.
Right before that, I had been insanely sick, could barely get out of bed, and a huge wave of depression hit me. I found myself sitting in bed watching Netflix next to my mom's ashes and nearly starving myself. My friends were all gone, going back up to camp or going through their own lives. There were some other friends that just didn't think about me, and the smallest of things made me feel so sorry for myself. I was a pathetic lump.
So when my friend told me about the covering her boyfriend prayed over her, I was jealous. 18 years with no relationships, pretty much no one looking twice at me, and only using me as a place holder until they could get to someone else, and I let just a little bit bitter. Not to mention going through an emotional roller coaster right then over a guy. And my family had no interest in getting involved with me, which made me even angrier. I felt like no one loved me, and no one in my life would ever love me enough to cover me with prayer.
I felt like this for a little while longer until I saw another friend, and all these emotions just came up again. I was about ready to explode. I had been having mini breakdowns and crying for no reason, and I was afraid I would do the same in front of him. But then we started to worship. And we sang songs from my week at camp, and we laughed and sang and played, and I felt like I didn't need to cry. I didn't need to be angry. I didn't need to unload on my friend and tell him all my grievances, because I could do that to God. He wanted to hear my troubles.
That day, I prayed a covering over myself. And I have prayed over myself since then. These days, it's important to pray intentionally. By praying a covering over MYSELF, it helps me to keep a perspective of what I'm doing, my attitude, and what other things I need to pray over. It helps me to know what the power of a prayer covering is and to pray coverings over the people I love. AND it builds the habit of prayer. And I struggle with that.
Also, it is important to ask for prayer if necessary. I am in a point in my life when I am mostly alone- I don't live with my dad right now, my brothers have their own families and lives, my sister is working full time, and some of my friends are... On their way out. I have this nasty habit of feeling like I'm imposing on my friends, asking them for help or just randomly bringing things up because I feel alone. But while I was sick, I found myself texting my best friends, asking them to just pray for me, that I was overwhelmed and needed some extra prayer. And my friends were so responsive and encouraging. They called me and told me they loved me and were there if I needed. So no matter what, don't EVER be afraid to ask for prayer. Especially from your pastors and close friends.
Or me. :)
I hope that through my experiences, I can help some of you that feel the same kind of way. I love you all, and you are never alone.
