The Original Poem...

... that makes my #TiaraTuesday this week all the more emotional.  My friend wrote this poem right after Mama died.  This poem just makes my heart break, mend, and re-break.  Gosh...


By: Jayde Contreras

A beautiful spirit,
Though her body was broken.
She could make you smile
With every word spoken.
The cancer may have taken
Her breath, bones, and skin,
But it would never take away
The lasting impression of her grin.
Though her life was too short
By our standards and time,
HIS timing is perfect
And planning is even more fine.
Just think of all the pain
She no longer has to feel,
All of the tears
That are no longer real.
She's probably sitting
Right next to Him now;
She's most certainly still a princess
With the most beautiful crown.
Though physically she is gone,
Not a part of this Earth,
Her happy spirit lives in our hearts
Which is of oh-such worth.
Her family gained an angel,
A beautiful one at that.
She has reached the Kingdom,
With her King at last.


Love you, honey.  Thanks for this beautiful reminder.

Last Words

"I'll be right back... If I don't come back, well, then these are my last words to you all.  I really, really, really love you guys.


"Now I'm going to go drop a deuce."


This has to be the funniest and best quote from a great TV show I've been catching up on.  How I Met Your Mother has some fabulous times of hilarity, but this was one of the best.  Especially considering that the beginning of that episode made me cry as hard as I could for exactly 7.5 seconds.

In this episode, one of the character's father dies from a heart attack.  He spends the episode feeling bad about everyone else's amazing stories of their father's last words to them, like amazing advice to the grandkids or saying how much he loved them.  His father's last words to him were "Hey Marshall.  You should rent Crocodile Dundee 3".   Then he finds a voicemail from his dad on his phone that ends with "Anyway, I love you.".  He was so relieved and still used the funny ones for his dad's funeral.  But even the ending made me sad.

I don't remember my mom's last words to me.  I was mad at her for not letting me go to Reno with her, or at least visit her.  She and I had gotten so close the last year, and I thought she would let me be involved in that juncture with her.  She was gone for almost... was it two weeks?  Maybe longer... This is what sucks.  That entire year is a complete blur.  Going to Mexico is the clearest, and knowing certain things that happened in school that year.  But besides that, timelines, things that were said, things I went to... It's all mushed together into one huge crap-fest.

I have no idea what my mom said to me the last time she saw me.  Her and I texted back and forth a bit, and I sent her lots of pictures and videos of me babysitting the grandkids... but besides that, we promised we would call and never did, we never video chatted, and I have no idea how Reno even was.  And it made me feel horrible.  How will I never know what my Mama wanted to say to me the last time she saw me?  We never were completely "I love you" prone, that's just how we were.  But did she make me laugh?  Did I make her laugh?  Did I make her cry because I was mad she wouldn't let me go?  I don't know if I'll ever remember.  It makes me feel horrible.

But what makes me feel better is how she made me feel before she died.  She spent so much time with me and made me feel so much better about the direction my life was going that I don't much care anymore.  (I'm pretty much just saying that because I want that to be true)  She was such a caring person, and she loved on everyone around her.  She was so encouraging and loving, that all I know is that she loved me.  So much.  And I loved her.

Last words are overrated.






Now I'm going to drop a major deuce.


Just kidding, I already did that.  (No offense to new readers.  :) )